Process for Pre-Marital Counselling

PRE-MARITAL COUNSELLING STATION

This pre-marital counselling station (PMCS) will be for couples in DUMC who are in a relationship with expressed intention for marriage within a 12- to 24-month time-frame.

Objectives

1.   DUMC will be responsible and accountable for the welfare of any marriage she chooses to bless. Therefore it is important that a good foundation be set for the marriage. This station is explicitly for this purpose. DUMC looks beyond the wedding day preparation. Emphasis is on a life-long relationship that is both enriching and God-honouring.

2.   It allows the zone pastors to know the couples that are tying the knot. It allows the pastoral staff to give a personal touch from the Church.

3.   It allows a counsellor-counsellee relationship to form so that an accountability structure is built into the new couple’s lives.

4.   It allows the couple to realise the need for pro-active nurture of their courtship and future marriage relationship, to correct any inappropriate biblical understanding of marriage and to equip them with the required tools to further enrich their lives together.

5.   It allows the couple to be certain of their decision to get married and the person they are marrying. Other possible outcomes of this station are a decision to postpone marriage until primary issues between the couple are sorted out, or a decision to not go ahead with the marriage at all.

6.   It will also enrich and strengthen the marriage of the counsellors.

Preparation Track

See attached flow-chart.

Process to initiate PMC

1.     Contact our Wedding Planning Ministry.

2.     You will be briefed about the whole process.

3.     You will be required to fill in the PMC application forms and complete the Taylor-Johnson Temperament Analysis test.

4.     Thereafter you will be called for an interview with your zone pastor.

      

Exposure to Toddlers' Ministry (Little Lamb)

We expose our counsellees to the realities of parenthood by rostering them to serve in this ministry during celebrations for a minimum of 6 sessions. We hope the couple would take this opportunity to interact with the toddlers and their parents first-hand to gain insight into the realities of parenthood.

Pre-Marital Counselling

Objectives

1.   It allows a counsellor-counsellee relationship to form so that an accountability structure is built into the new couple’s lives.

2.   It allows the couple to realise the need for pro-active nurture of their courtship and future marriage relationship, to correct any inappropriate biblical understanding of marriage and to equip them with the required tools to further enrich their lives together.

3.   It allows the couple to be certain of their decision to get married and the person they are marrying. Other possible outcomes of this station are a decision to postpone marriage until primary issues between the couple are sorted out, or a decision to not go ahead with the marriage at all.

Syllabus

Taylor-Johnson Analysis

Manual

1.   What is marriage?

2.   Uniqueness and Acceptance in Marriage

3.   Love as a Basis for Marriage

4.   What Do You Expect From Marriage

5.   Goals in Marriage

6.   Fulfilling Needs in Marriage

7.   Roles, Responsibilities, and Decision Making

8.   In-Laws or Outlaws - It’s Your Choice

9.   Communication

10.  Conflict (or “Sound the Battle Cry!”)

11.  Finances

12.  Sex in Marriage

13. Your Spiritual Life Together

Duration

Minimum number of sessions: 14 (13+1)

Maximum number of sessions: 25 (also dependent on counsellor’s recommendation)

To be conducted fortnightly.

Counsellors

Selected by pastoral staff using the following as guidelines:-

·         married for at least 3 years

·         own marriage must be of good witness to those around

·         own marriage life is held accountable to the Zone Pastors

·         both husband and wife must have a burden for this area of ministry 

·         must have attended the accreditation class for the pre-marital counselling

Methodology

Lecture, Facilitation, Videos, Sharing & Assignments